Chafetz Chaim and Shemirat HaLashon

אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר בִּגְנוּת חֲבֵרוֹ אֲפִלּוּ עַל (א) אֱמֶת גָּמוּר וְזֶה נִקְרָא בְּפִי חֲזַ"ל בְּכָל מָקוֹם לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, (דְּאִם יֵשׁ בְּהַסִפּוּר שֶׁלּוֹ (ב) תַּעֲרוֹבוֹת שֶׁל שֶׁקֶר וַעֲבוּר זֶה נִתְגַּנָּה חֲבֵרוֹ יוֹתֵר הוּא בִּכְלַל מוֹצִּיא שֵׁם רָע וַעֲוֹנוֹ גָּדוֹל הַרְבֵּה יוֹתֵר), וְהַמְסַפֵּר עוֹבֵר בְּלֹא תַעֲשֶׂה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט, טז): (ג) "לֹא תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּיךָ", (ד) וְזֶה גַּם כֵּן בִּכְלַל רְכִילוּת הוּא.

It is forbidden to speak demeaningly of one's friend, even if it be absolute truth. And this is termed everywhere by Chazal "lashon hara." (For if there were in his words an admixture of falsehood, by which his friend is demeaned even more, this is in the category of "motzi shem ra" [spreading a false report], in which his sin is far greater). And the speaker [of lashon hara] transgresses a negative commandment, viz. (Vayikra 19:16): "Do not go talebearing among your people." And this [lashon hara] is also in the category of rechiluth.

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 1 1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

וְדָבָר פָּשׁוּט הוּא, כִּי כְּשֶׁיַּרְגִּיל עַצְמוֹ לִהְיוֹת זָהִיר בִּלְשׁוֹנוֹ שֶׁלֹּא לְסַפֵּר לְעוֹלָם בִּגְנוּת חֲבֵרוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ אִם לֹא יִגְרֹם לוֹ הֶזֵּק בָּזֶה, וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן מִלִּגְרֹם לוֹ שֶׁיְּאַבֵּד מִחְיָתוֹ עַל יְדֵי זֶה וְגַם שֶׁלֹּא לְהַלְבִּין פָּנָיו עַל יְדֵי דִּבּוּרָיו הָרָעִים וְגַם מִלְּהַחְזִיק בְּמַחֲלֹקֶת עַל יְדֵי סִפּוּרָיו, שֶׁכָּל זֶה הוּא רַע בַּלָּשׁוֹן, וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה שְׁאָרֵי לָאוִין וַעֲשִׂין שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּעִנְיָנִים אֵלּוּ, וְכַנַּ"ל בַּפְּתִיחָה, בְּוַדַּאי יִזָּהֵר בְּעַצְמוֹ מִמֵּילָא מִגֶּזֶל וּגְנֵבָה גַּם כֵּן, כִּי הֲלֹא כְּבָר קַבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ לִהְיוֹת זָהִיר, אֲפִלּוּ שֶׁלֹּא לִגְרֹם לוֹ שׁוּם רֵעוּתָא וּגְנוּת עַל יְדֵי דִּבּוּרוֹ וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן בְּפֹעַל מַמָּשׁ, וְאִם כֵּן בְּהֶרְחֵב הַזְּמַן יִהְיֶה נָקַי מִכָּל הָעֲוֹנוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ.

And this stands to reason. For when one habituates himself to be careful with his tongue, never to speak demeaningly of his friend, even if he causes him no harm; how much more so will he be careful not to cause him to lose his livelihood thereby, and also not to "whiten his face" with his evil talk, and also not to foment strife through his tales, all this being "evil" in the tongue, and the same with similar negative and positive commandments, as mentioned in the introduction. He certainly will also be watchful in the area of robbery and theft. For has he not already taken it upon himself to be watchful even not to cause him any harm or to demean him by his speech? How much more so [will he not harm him] actively. And if so, in the long run, he will be clean of all the sins between man and neighbor.

Shemirat HaLashon, Book I, The Gate of Remembering 1:4 · Shmirath Halashon by Rabbi Shraga Silverstein

אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר בִּגְנוּת חֲבֵרוֹ אֲפִלּוּ עַל (א) אֱמֶת גָּמוּר וְזֶה נִקְרָא בְּפִי חֲזַ"ל בְּכָל מָקוֹם לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, (דְּאִם יֵשׁ בְּהַסִפּוּר שֶׁלּוֹ (ב) תַּעֲרוֹבוֹת שֶׁל שֶׁקֶר וַעֲבוּר זֶה נִתְגַּנָּה חֲבֵרוֹ יוֹתֵר הוּא בִּכְלַל מוֹצִּיא שֵׁם רָע וַעֲוֹנוֹ גָּדוֹל הַרְבֵּה יוֹתֵר), וְהַמְסַפֵּר עוֹבֵר בְּלֹא תַעֲשֶׂה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט, טז): (ג) "לֹא תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּיךָ", (ד) וְזֶה גַּם כֵּן בִּכְלַל רְכִילוּת הוּא.

It is forbidden to speak demeaningly of one's friend, even if it be absolute truth. And this is termed everywhere by Chazal "lashon hara." (For if there were in his words an admixture of falsehood, by which his friend is demeaned even more, this is in the category of "motzi shem ra" [spreading a false report], in which his sin is far greater). And the speaker [of lashon hara] transgresses a negative commandment, viz. (Vayikra 19:16): "Do not go talebearing among your people." And this [lashon hara] is also in the category of rechiluth.

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 1:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

(א) אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע עַל חֲבֵרוֹ, אַף שֶׁהוּא אֱמֶת, אֲפִלּוּ בִּפְנֵי יָחִיד. וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן בִּפְנֵי רַבִּים. וְכָל שֶׁיִּתְרַבּוּ הַשּׁוֹמְעִים, יִתְרַבֶּה עֲוֹן הַמְסַפֵּר, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁחֲבֵרוֹ מִתְגַּנֶּה יוֹתֵר עַל יְדֵי זֶה, שֶׁנִּתְפַּרְסֵם גְּנוּתוֹ בִּפְנֵי כַּמָּה אֲנָשִׁים, גַּם שֶׁעַל יְדֵי זֶה מַכְשִׁיל כַּמָּה אֲנָשִׁים בְּאִסוּר שְׁמִיעַת לָשׁוֹן הָרָע {הסכמת כל הפוסקים}.

It is forbidden to speak lashon hara against one's friend, even if it is true, even before one, and, more so, before many. And the more listeners, the greater the sin of the speaker; for his friend is more greatly demeaned thereby, his taint being publicized before several people. Also, in doing so, he makes several people go astray in the issur of listening to lashon hara.

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 2:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

כַּמָּה גָּדוֹל אִסוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, שֶׁאְסַרְתּוֹ הַתּוֹרָה אֲפִלּוּ עַל אֱמֶת וּבְכָל גַּוְנֵי, דְּלֹא מִּבָּעֵי אִם הוּא שׁוֹמֵר אֶת עַצְמוֹ לְסַפֵּר עָלָיו בַּסֵתֶר וּמַקְפִּיד עַל זֶה שֶׁלֹּא יִתְגַּלֶּה לוֹ דְּאָסוּר, שֶׁעַל יְדֵי זֶה מְקַבֵּל עַל עַצְּמוֹ גַּם כֵּן אָרוּר, כְּמָה דִכְתִיב "אָרוּר מַכֶּה רֵעֵהוּ בַּסָתֶר", אֶלָּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם הוּא מְשַׁעֵר בְּעַצְּמוֹ, (א) שֶׁהָיָה אוֹמֵר דָּבָר זֶה אַךְ בְּפָנָיו, אוֹ שֶׁהוּא מְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע על חֲבֵרוֹ בְּפָנָיו מַמָּשׁ, גַּם כֵּן אָסוּר וְלָשׁוֹן הָרָע מִקְרֵי, וּבְצַּד אֶחָד גָּדוֹל אִסוּרוֹ בְּפָנָיו מִשֶּׁלֹּא בְּפָנָיו, דִּבְפָנָיו, לְבַד אִסוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, הוּא מַלְבִּישׁ אֶת עַצְּמוֹ עַל יְדֵי זֶה בְּמִדַּת הָעַזּוּת וְהַחֻצְפָּה וְהוּא מְעוֹרֵר יוֹתֵר מְדָנִים עַל יְדֵי זֶה, וְכַמָּה פְּעָמִים בָּא עַל יְדֵי זֶה גַּם כֵּן לִידֵי הַלְבָּנַת פָּנִים, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁהֶאֱרַכְנוּ לְעֵיל בַּפְּתִיחָה בְּלָאו דְּ"לֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא". עַיֵּן שָׁם.

How great is the issur of lashon hara, which the Torah has forbidden even if true and in all modes. For not alone if he is careful to speak it only in private and to insist that it not be revealed to him [who is spoken about] is it forbidden, [for through this he also brings a curse upon himself, viz. (Devarim 27:24): "Cursed be he who smites his neighbor in secret"], but even if he knows that he would speak it even to his face, or actually speaks lashon hara to his face, even so it is forbidden and called "lashon hara." And in one respect, the issur is greater "to his face" than not to his face." For in his presence, aside from the issur of lashon hara, he [the speaker] clothes himself with the trait of brazenness and audacity, and arouses more strife thereby. And very often this leads also to the "whitening of (the other's) face (in shame)," as we have enlarged upon in the introduction concerning the negative commandment of (Vayikra 19:17): "Do not bear sin because of him."

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 3:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר עַל חֲבֵרוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ שֶׁלֹּא בְּפָנָיו, וְהוּא אֱמֶת, דָּבָר שֶׁיִּתְבַּזֶּה עַל יְדֵי זֶה, וְלָא מִבָּעֵי {ואין צריך לומר} בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁל גְּנַאי בְּעָלְמָא, כְּגוֹן (א) לִזְכֹּר עָלָיו מַעֲשֵׂה אֲבוֹתָיו וּקְרוֹבָיו אוֹ לִזְכֹּר עָלָיו מַעֲשָׂיו הָרִאשׁוֹנִים, בֵּין שֶׁהָיוּ (ב) דְּבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם אוֹ (ג) דְּבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ, כֵּיוָן שֶׁהוּא מִתְנַהֵג עַתָּה כַּשּׁוּרָה, אָסוּר לְגַנּוֹתוֹ בָּזֶה וְלָשׁוֹן הָרָע מִקְּרֵי. אֶלָּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם רָאָהוּ זֶה מִקָּרוֹב בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְּמוֹ, (ד) שֶׁעָשָׂה דָּבָר שֶׁאֵין רָאוּי עַל פִּי הַדִּין, וְהוּא מֵהַדְּבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם, (דְּבִדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ, יֵשׁ בָּזֶה חִלּוּקִים רַבִּים, וּנְבָאֵר אִם יִרְצֶּה ה' לְקַמָּן בִּכְלָל י'), גַּם כֵּן אָסוּר לְגַנּוֹתוֹ בָּזֶה, אֲפִלּוּ שֶׁלֹּא בְּפָנָיו, אִם לֹא עַל פִּי הַפְּרָטִים הַמְבֹאָרִים לְקַמָּן בְּסָעִיף ז' *.

It is forbidden to speak against one's friend — even if not to his face and even if it be true — something that will shame him. And not only demeaning things in general, such as mentioning about him the [negative] deeds of his fathers and his relatives, or his early deeds, both those between him and his Maker and [those between] him and his neighbor; for since he now conducts himself correctly it is forbidden to demean him with this and it is called lashon hara. — But even if he saw him of late doing something unbefitting according to the din, one of the things between man and his Maker (for in those things between man and his neighbor there are many distinctions, which we will explain, the L–rd willing, below in Principle X), it is also forbidden to demean him with this, even not before his face, if not in accordance with the qualifications explained below in section 7.

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 4:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

כְּשֵׁם שֶׁאָסוּר לְבַזּוֹת אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ בְּעִנְיָנִים דְּבֵין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם, כֵּן אָסוּר לְבַזּוֹתוֹ בְּעִנְיָנִים דְּבֵין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ, וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם לֹא נִתְעָרֵב בְּהַסִפּוּר הַזֶּה (א) שׁוּם תַּעֲרוֹבוֹת שֶׁל שֶׁקֶר. וְלֹא אֲכַחֵד תַּחַת לְשׁוֹנִי, כִּי יֵשׁ בָּזֶה שָׁרָשִׁים וַעֲנָפִים רַבִּים, וְהַרְבֵּה פְּעָמִים יִשְׁתַּנְּה זֶה הַדִּין וּנְבָאֲרֵם אִם יִרְצֶּה ה' לְקַמָּן בִּכְלָל י' בַּאֲרֻכָּה, אַךְ עַתָּה נְבָאֵר מֵהֶם פְּרָט אֶחָד לְאִסוּר, אֲשֶׁר לֹא יִפֹּל בּוֹ שׁוּם סָפֵק, וְהוּא כְּגוֹן שֶׁרוֹאֶה לְאֶחָד, שֶׁבִּקֵּשׁ מֵאֵת חֲבֵרוֹ שֶׁיַּלְוֶנּוּ מָעוֹת (אַף שֶׁהוּא מִצְּוַת עֲשֵׂה דְּאוֹרַיְתָא {שמות כ"ב כ"ד} דְּ"אִם כֶּסֶף תַּלְוֶה ", וּכְמוֹ שֶׁמְּפֹרָשׁ בְּסֵפֶר הַמִּצְּוֹת לָרַמְבַּ"ם), אוֹ שֶׁיֵּיטִיב עִמּוֹ בִּשְׁאָר טוֹבוֹת וְלֹא הֵיטִיבוֹ, אוֹ בְּלָאוִין דְּבֵין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ, (ב) כְּגוֹן, נְקִימָה וּנְטִירָה, (ג) (וּכְפִי מַה שֶּׁמְּפָרֵשׁ, {ביומא כ"ג} אֵיזֶה הִיא נְקִימָה וּנְטִירָה, עַיֵּן שָׁם) כֵּיוָן (ד) שֶׁלֹּא עָשָׂה לוֹ רָעָה, (וְגַם אֵין שׁוּם תּוֹעֶלֶת לְאוֹתוֹ פְּלוֹנִי שֶׁכְּנֶגְדּוֹ בְּסִפּוּרוֹ אֶת הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה לִבְנִי אָדָם), לָכֵן הַהוֹלֵךְ וּמְגַנְּה אוֹתוֹ בָּזֶה לִפְנֵי אֲנָשִׁים, לָשׁוֹן הָרָע נִקְרָא מִן הַדִּין. וְכָל זֶה אֲפִלּוּ אִם רוֹאֶה דָּבָר זֶה בְּעַצְמוֹ, וְנִתְבָּרֵר גַּם כֵּן אֶצְלוֹ, שֶׁהָיָה יָכוֹל לְהֵיטִיב עִמּוֹ הַטּוֹבָה הַזֹּאת, אַךְ לֹא הֵיטִיבוֹ (ה) מִפְּנִי רֹעַ טִבְעו, וְשַיָּךְ בָּזֶה כָּל חֶלְקֵי הָאִסוּר, אֲשֶר נִתְבָּאֵר בַּכְּלָל הֶעָבָר בְּסָעִיף ג' לְעִנְיַן בֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם. וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם מְנִיעַת הַטּוֹבָה הָיְתָה לְאָדָם אַחֵר, וְהַמְסַפֵּר מְכַוֵּן רַקּ לְקִנְאַת הָאֱמֶת, וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן אִם מְנִיעַת הַטּוֹבָה הָיְתָה לְהַמְסַפֵּר בְּעַצְמוֹ, בְּוַדַּאי אָסוּר אַחַר כָּךְ לֵילֵךְ וּלְגַנּוֹתוֹ עֲבוּר זֶה, וְהָעוֹבֵר עַל זֶה לְבַד שֶׁנִּכְשָׁל בַּעֲוֹן לָשׁוֹן הָרָע (ו) עוֹד נִכְשָׁל בָּזֶה בְּלָאו דְּ"לֹא תִטֹּר", וְאִם מְכַוֵּן בְּהַסִפּוּר הַהוּא לִנְקֹם מִמֶּנּוּ עֲבוּר זֶה וּלְפַרְסֵם אֶת רֹעַ לְבָבוֹ לִפְנִי אֲנָשִׁים, עוֹבֵר גַּם כֵּן בְּלָאו דְּ"לֹא תִקֹּם", מִלְּבַד אִסוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע.

Just as it is forbidden to shame one's friend in matters between man and his Maker, so is it forbidden to shame him in matters between man and his neighbor, even if what is said contains no admixture of falsehood. And I will not "conceal under my tongue" that there are in this [principle] many roots and branches, and that often this din changes [with the circumstances]. We shall speak about this at length, the L–rd willing, below in Principle X. But now we shall discuss one element that is forbidden beyond a doubt. That is, if one sees another asking his friend to lend him money (even though this [i.e., to lend] is a positive commandment of the Torah, viz. Shemoth 22:24: "When you lend money, etc.," as explained in the Book of the Mitzvoth of the Rambam, Positive Commandments 197), or [asking him] for some other favor, which he does not grant him; or [if he sees one transgressing] negative commandments between man and his neighbor, such as taking revenge and bearing a grudge, as is explained in Yoma (23a): "Which is revenge and which is bearing a grudge, etc.?" — since he [the object of the lashon hara] did not do him [the speaker] any evil (and there is also no benefit accruing to the affected party by his [the speaker's] recounting this to others), therefore, if he goes and recounts this to others, it is called "lashon hara" according to the din. And all this, even if it happened to [the speaker] himself, and it was also clear to him that he could have done him this favor, but refused to do so out of the perverseness of his nature. And there obtain here [also] all the elements of the issur which were explained in the preceding principle in section 3 concerning "between man and his Maker." And even if the withholding of the favor was to another, and the speaker's intent were only zeal for the truth (how much more so if the withholding of the favor were to the speaker himself!), it is certainly forbidden thereafter, to go and demean him for this. And one who transgresses this, aside from stumbling into the sin of lashon hara, also stumbles in this into the transgression of (Vayikra 19:18): "You shall not bear a grudge." And if he intends by what he says to take revenge of him for this, and to publicize the other's perverseness, he transgresses in addition (Ibid) "You shall not take revenge," aside from the issur of lashon hara.

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 5:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

אָסוּר לְקַבֵּל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע מִן הַתּוֹרָה, בֵּין שֶׁהוּא מֵהַדְּבָרִים, שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם, אוֹ מֵהדְּבָרִים, שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ, דְּהַיְנוּ (א) שֶׁלֹּא נַאֲמִין בְּלִבֵּנוּ שֶׁהַסִפּוּר הוּא אֱמֶת, כִּי עַל יְדֵי זֶה יְבֻזֶּה בְּעֵינֵינוּ, מִי שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר עָלָיו. וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם לֹא יַסְכִּים לוֹ בְּפֵרוּשׁ לְסִפּוּרוֹ, דְּאִי לָאו הָכִי, הְרֵי הוּא שׁוֹנֶה אֶת הֶעָוֹן בְּכִפְלַיִם, שֶׁהוּא מְסַפֵּר וּמְקַבֵּל. וְהַמְקַבֵּל עוֹבֵר בְּלֹא תַעֲשֶׂה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "לֹא תִשָּׂא שֵׁמַע שָׁוְא". וְאָמְרוּ חְכָמֵּינוּ זַ"ל בִּמְכִילְתָּא, שֶׁזּוֹ הִיא אַזְהָרָה לַמְקַּבֵּל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, וּלְבַד שְׁאָר לָאוִין וַעֲשִׂין הַמִּצְטָרְפִים לָזֶה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב לְעֵיל בַּפְּתִיחָה, עַיֵּן שָׁם. וְאָמְרוּ חֲזַ"ל, שֶׁכָּל הַמְקַבֵּל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, רָאוּי לְהשְׁלִיכוֹ לַכְּלָבִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַּר "לֹא תִשָּׂא שֵׁמַע שָׁוְא" וּסְמִיךְ לֵה "לַכֶּלֶב תַּשְׁלִיכוּן אוֹתוֹ". עוֹד אָמְרוּ, שֶׁגָּדוֹל עֹנְשׁ המְקַבְּלוֹ יוֹתֵר מִן הָאוֹמְרוֹ.

It is forbidden to accept lashon hara according to the Torah, both in things "between man and his Maker" and things "between man and his neighbor." That is, we may not believe in our hearts that what is said is true. For, if we do, we will look down upon the one spoken of. And [this applies] even if he [the hearer] explicitly disagrees with what is said. For if not, he doubles the sin — speaking [(by being an accessory to the speaker)] and accepting. And the accepter transgresses (Shemoth 23:1): "You shall not bear a false report," concerning which Chazal have said in the Mechilta, that this is an exhortation against accepting lashon hara, aside from the other negative commandments and positive commandments adjoined to this, as we have written in the introduction. And Chazal have said (Pesachim 118a) that all who accept lashon hara deserve to be cast to the dogs, it being written "You shall not bear a false report," preceded by (Ibid 22:30): "To the dog shall you cast it." And they have also said (Rambam, Hilchoth Deoth 7:13): "The punishment of the accepter is grater than that of the teller."

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 6:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

אִסוּר קַבָּלַת לָשׁוֹן הָרָע הוּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם הַמְסַפֵּר מְסַפֵּר אֶת הַדְּבָרִים בְּפִרְסוּם (א) לִפְנִי כַּמָּה אֲנָשִׁים, אַף עַל פִּי כֵן אֵין לְהַחְלִיט מֵחֲמַת זֶה, שֶׁהַדָּבָר אֱמֶת, רק יֵשׁ לְהַשּׁוֹמְעִים לָחוּשׁ לָזֶה וְלַחֲקֹר אֶת הַדָּבָר, וְאִם יִתְבָּרֵר לָהֶם, שֶׁהַדָּבָר אֱמֶת, יוֹכִיחוּהוּ עַל זֶה.

The issur of accepting lashon hara obtains even if the speaker speaks it in public, before many people. Still, it is not to be concluded because of this that it is true, but the bearers must suspect [that it might be true] and probe the matter. And if it becomes clear to them that it is true, they should reprove him [the object of the lashon hara] for it (i.e., for what he has done or said).

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 7:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

אֵין חִלּוּק בְּאִסוּר סִפּוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, בֵּין אִם הַמְסַפֵּר אִישׁ אוֹ (א) אִשָּׁה, קָרוֹב אוֹ רָחוֹק, אַף דִּרְגִילוּת הוּא כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים, (ב) שֶׁלֹּא יַקְפִּיד הָאִישׁ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר הַגְּנוּת עָלָיו, עַל הַמְסַפֵּר מִצַּד אַהֲבַת הַקֻּרְבָה אֲשֶׁר בֵּינֵיהֶם, וְגַם דֶרֶךְ קָרוֹב הוּא, כְּשֶׁמְסַפֵּר לְאֶחָד עַל קְרוֹבוֹ, אֵינֶנּוּ מְכַוֵּן לְגַנּוֹתוֹ בְּעֶצֶם, רַק מִפְּנִי קִנְאַת הָאֱמֶת, שֶׁלְּפִי דַּעְתּוֹ, שֶׁלֹּא כַּהֹגֶן עָשָׂה לְאִישׁ פְּלוֹנִי בְּעִנְיַן פְּלוֹנִי, אַף עַל פִּי כֵן (ג) אִם טָעָה בְּדִמְיוֹנוֹ בָּזֶה, דְּהַיְנוּ, שֶׁמִּהֵר לְהַחְלִיטוֹ לְכַף חוֹב, וְעַל פִּי אֱמֶת לֹא הָיָה חַיָּב בָּזֶה, אֵין דָּבָר זֶה יוֹצֵּא מִכְּלַל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע גְּמוּרָה.

There is no difference, in the issur of speaking lashon hara, as to whether the speaker is a man or a woman, a relative or not related, though commonly one who is demeaned will not take offense if the speaker is motivated by the family love that unites them. And it is also the way of a relative that when he speaks to one about his kin, his intent is not to demean him, but to be zealous for the truth, it being his view that his relative acted wrongly to another in a certain matter. Still, if he [the speaker] erred in judgment in this respect, i.e., if he was too hasty to incriminate his relative when he was really guiltless, this does not leave the category of absolute lashon hara.

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 8:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

(א) יֵשׁ דְּבָרִים שֶׁאֲסוּרִין מִטַּעַם אֲבַק לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, כְּגוֹן שֶׁאוֹמֵר, מִי הָיָה אוֹמֵר עַל פְּלוֹנִי, שֶׁיִּהְיֶה כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוּא עַתָּה אוֹ שֶׁאוֹמֵר, שִׁתְקוּ מִפְּלוֹנִי, (ב) אֵינִי רוֹצֶּה לְהוֹדִיעַ מָה אֵרַע וּמַה יִּהְיֶה, וְכַיּוֹצֵּא בִּדְבָרִים אֵלּוּ. וְכֵן הַמְסַפֵּר (ג) בְּשִׁבְחוֹ שֶׁל חֲבֵרוֹ בִּפְנִי שׂוֹנְאָיו, גַּם כֵּן בִּכְלַל אֲבַק לָשׁוֹן הָרָע הוּא, דְּזֶה גּוֹרֵם לָהֶם, שֶׁיְּסַפְּרוּ בִּגְנוּתוֹ* . וְאִם (ה) הוּא מַרְבֶּה לְסַפֵּר בְּשִׁבְחוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ שֶׁלֹּא בִּפְנֵי שׂוֹנְאָיו אָסוּר, כִּי עַל יְדֵי זֶה רָגִיל בְּעַצְמוֹ לְגַנּוֹתוֹ לְבַסוֹף לוֹמַר: חוּץ מִמִּדָּה רָעָה זוֹ שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ, אוֹ שֶׁהַשּׁוֹמְעִין יְשִׁיבוּהוּ: לָמָּה אַתָּה מַרְבֶּה בְּשִׁבְחוֹ וַהֲלֹא מִדַּת כָּךְ וְכָךְ בְּיָדוֹ?

There are things which are forbidden because of the "dust" of lashon hara. As when one says about another: "Who would have said about Ploni that he would be the way he is now!" or "Don't talk about Ploni. I don't want to talk about what happened or what will happen," and the like. Also in the category of the "dust" of lashon hara is speaking in one's praise before his enemies; for this will cause them to speak demeaningly of him. And it is forbidden to be profuse in praise of him, even if not before his enemies; for through this he will come to demean him in the end, saying: "except for this one bad trait that he has." Or the listeners will say: "Why do you speak so much in his praise? Does he not have this and this trait?"

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 9:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation

(א) אִם אֶחָד רָאָה אָדָם, שֶׁעָשָׂה עַוְלָה לַחֲבֵרוֹ, כְּגוֹן שֶׁגְּזָלוֹ אוֹ עֲשָׁקוֹ אוֹ הִזִּיקוֹ, בֵּין אִם הַנִּגְזָל וְהַנִּזָּק (ב) יוֹדְעִים מִזֶּה אוֹ לֹא. אוֹ שֶׁבִּיְּשׁוֹ, אוֹ שֶׁצִּעֲרוֹ וְהוֹנָה אוֹתוֹ בִּדְבָרִים. (ג) וְנוֹדַע לוֹ בְּבֵרוּר, שֶׁלֹּא הֵשִׁיב לוֹ אֶת הַגְּזֵלָה וְלֹא שִׁלֵּם לוֹ אֶת נִזְקוֹ (ד) וְלֹא בִּקֵּשׁ פָּנָיו לְהַעֲבִיר לוֹ עַל עֲוֹנוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ רָאָה דָּבָר זֶה בִּיחִידִי, יָכוֹל לְסַפֵּר הַדְּבָרִים לִבְנֵי אָדָם כְּדֵי לַעֲזֹר לַאֲשֶׁר אָשַׁם לוֹ וּלְגַנּוֹת הַמַּעֲשִׂים הָרָעִים בִּפְנִי הַבְּרִיוֹת, אַךְ יִזָּהֵר, שֶׁלֹּא יַחְסְרוּ אֵלּוּ הַשִּׁבְעָה פְּרָטִים, שֶׁנְּבָאֲרֵם בְּסָמוּךְ.

If a man saw someone harming his friend, whether robbing him, wronging him, or causing him damage, whether the one robbed or caused damage knew of it or not — or if he shamed him or aggrieved him, or wronged him with words — and it became known to him clearly that he did not return the theft or reimburse him for the damage and did not beseech him to forgive his transgression — even if he saw this thing by himself, he can relate it to others in order to help the one who was wronged and to condemn these evil deeds before men; but he must take care that there not be lacking the following seven details which we shall now explain:

Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 10:1:1 · Chofetz Chaim, Silverstein translation